So, part of this whole blog project is to help me become better at expressing myself in text form. Those of you who know I spend approximately 24 hours a day on AIM will be scoffing at this, but I still feel I have room for improvement, especially in the long form of paragraphs and pages rather than "lol" "yeah" "haha" "send me nude pics" "shit you're 13?" "BRB: FBI" and other common internet phrases.

In any case, the topic of tonight's writing will be physical fitness and Nick.

I seem to kind of have a weird obsession/laziness relationship with physical fitness. I think that I'd be a lot more attractive if I worked out more, I feel lazy when I don't work out, I idolize athletes and pay attention to bodybuilders.

Maybe it's from watching too many arnold schwarzanagger films as a child, or from the pleasure I got when I first started weight training myself in 10th grade, or just some continued fascination with hypermasculinity, but I want to at least look like the toughest guy in the world, featured in the picture. Sadly, I'm also really lazy and don't work out enough (as of yet) so it doesn't work out.

238 is pretty much the highest weight I've ever had, and I think it's a pretty stable weight for me when I don't do anything but hang around and eat. But anyway, I need to drop a good amount of weight. Mainly though, I just want to get into better shape. I keep wimping out of regularly going to jiu-jitsu practice because I feel like my level of fitness is embarassing. That's going to be one of my goals now in this new chapter of my life; getting to a level of fitness where I can actually be a competitive athlete.

I should probably format this into some concrete goals and plans. My goals are to drop a noticable amount of weight before Tex's wedding (an arbitrary and far off, yet not lost in the mists of time date) and raise my general level of fitness back to that of a moderately trained amateur athlete again (like it was in highschool when I was rowing crew). In the next month, I'm going to just establish a baseline of fitness with aerobic anaerobic, and flexibility training, starting tomorrow. Lets see how that goes. It's only going to get harder as I get older.

Sorry if all that is boring, I'll come up with something more interesting tomorrow.