Oh, it's raining very nicely out now, that'll cool things down and make it easier to sleep tonight. Pleasant evening then.

Here's a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWej4ZbrbbM

Well, I'm here in the apartment, using Jesse's (my flatmate) computer. Got in a little late today, moved all my stuff in. A lot of organization needs to be done, but I'm still happy with the way the place is. I think I want to put in a chin-up bar, and maybe buy some hex dumbells. That'd be hot.

I have no idea where a grocery store is, and I didn't want to drive any more at all (700 miles or so in the last two days blah on that). So I wandered around the neighborhood and stopped at "the atlas cafe". It's a weird place with a lot of mexican, chilean, and italian/greek style food. There was a short fat and sweet waitress there about my age, and we talked for a bit. Apparently I"m going to have to come back some time and order the avocado smoothie. I'll let you know if that happens. In any case, melty gummi bears from my glovebox for dessert...mmm chewy colored blob.

So Ozzy Guillen is the most bad-ass manager out there right now. For those of you who don't know, he manages the White Sox baseball team. He's in the news lately because he a) made extremely rude remarks to a reporter and b) made one of his pitchers cry because that pitcher failed to intentionally hit a batter when ordered to do so. What a hardass. While I don't think it's appropriate for a public figure to say "what a fucking piece of shit he is, fucking fag" I admire the man's insistence that he needs to go to English seminars before he has sensitivity training. And come on, getting pissed at your own guy because he won't bean the crap out of a targeted opponent? That's just hard-ass. A few games back Ozzy also served a one-game suspension for ordering a intentional hit on a batter after both teams had already been warned not to hit the batter. Don't fuck with Ozzy.

Here's his apology for his comments on the reporter: "Nobody likes that man here. I don’t care what he thinks about me. Jerry [Reinsdorf] talked to me and said I should [think] about the word I used. [But Mariotti] is a piece of garbage, he always has been garbage and always will be garbage.”

And that's why the White Sox are the best team in baseball.

Oof, I'm a little stiff. Hit the gym again, still really grossly weak and out of shape, but it'll come. I think I'd really forgotten the sheer joy I get from lifting. I can run decently if I really have to and really work at it, but I've never enjoyed running. Too bad I probably need to do that more than anything else.

Some weird stuff going on at home here, lucky for me I'm going to be out of it tomorrow: driving up to Indiana and to see the grandparents. Probably be weird there too though, most likely weirder. Guess I'm not so lucky after all.

I'm starting the armstrong pullup program I got from Joe:


Pullups are a great way to strengthen your entire back and shoulders, something I need to do because I have that nagging shoulder injury thing.

Here's your grip exercise of the day: simply pinch a weight, and then pass it back and forth. Don't hook your fingers under anything or get your hand under the weight, just pick it up with the pinching, and then pass it back and forth between your hands, maintaining the pinch. Try to go as long as you can with a suitably heavy weight, but make sure not to drop it on your toes. Today I did this exercise with a 10 lb plate, which felt a little light (although the 25 was a definite instant toe-crusher) and a 15lb dumbell (pinching the bar between the ends) which felt about right.

Well, tomorrow officially starts the prologue to the great adventure. I won't really consider after-college life started until I step back into the apartment, but I'll be leaving home again, so I'll be almost there. Lets home it takes me somewhere worthwhile. Although I'm sure a motivational speaker would tell me that doing will get me farther than hoping. But fuck that motivational speaking bullshit. Those guys are assholes.

I'm just really gonna miss my brother. Now that he's at school his main goal at home is usually to hang out with friends from the area that go to different colleges. It's sad, we hardly ever get to hang out anymore, and he's a cool guy. We're a lot alike (aside from that) as I guess you would expect siblings to be. Tonight we revisited some old memories smashing up the pathetic princess Zelda and princess peach (mario's princess) in a game of Super Smash Brothers Melee, as we did all summer long back in high school. Ah memories. Alex's friends used to always come over after the pool (we live right next to the pool) and then I'd play them and beat their asses raw at that game. Except for one kid that played like a cheap dick and could beat me pretty often.
Star Fox: Lord of Bullshit and Reflecting Attacks That Suck
Character of choice for hosers and riff-raff.

What does it say about me that when I daydream about being an author, it's cynical thoughts of shilling self-help books? I guess it's my overly-practical/realistic side. I know that I haven't shown any signs of having a particular gift for writing, and that even if I had, many of the greatest writers ever died proverbially "poor and alone", yet self-help books obviously require no special ability or intelligence to produce, so long as one is willing to prey on people's insecurities by selling them a cheap solution to something they're too lazy or stupid to fix the real way. Hell, maybe it's just because I think I know all the answers.

So I've been binging on videogames lately. I kind of think of periods like that as similar to an alcoholic's "blackout" periods. I do it with a number of things/activities - as people who know me are sure to remember - comic books, normal books, fight videos, videogames (lemme know if I forgot anything). I think I have sort of a compulsive personality. Anyway, right now the easiest/fastest solution I have to that sort of thing is just "finish the binge," and I'm pretty close to the end of Final Fantasy VI. Why does that title all of a sudden look like porno now that it's typed out? Anyway, I think I'm just trying to a) get over the stress of school (yes, I stress out hugely about school, I just don't show it in my actions or forethought) and b) deny the impending doom of real life and jobs.

I was going to write something here about my ritualistic method of shaving and how I enjoy it and it lets me get in the mind set for changing things in the rest of my life... but it seems really dumb at this point.

So I was watching MTV; they had some program about cars on, some group that finds specialty autos for people. Turns out the group has to find "drift" cars, meaning any car that can be operated by an idiot in a sideways fashion, preferably with lots of neon and ugly bullshit... and hot asian chicks in miniskirts (the only part about 'drifting' I like or even tolerate in any way. As they're doing their "research," they decide to watch the trailer for the new Fast N' Furious product, which is also about drifting. Suddenly, we cut to full-screen clips from the trailer. ZOMG HAX, the entire episode is one giant product placement for this movie, since they couldn't use those clips without the owners permission. One more reason to hate fake-ass reality television... like the Ultimate Fighter, whose finale I watched tonight and enjoyed. At least there the guys are such dumb fighters they do a terrible job shilling the product and make fun of if at the same time. Oh well, I don't mind advertising as long as it's providing a product I really love.

So I never made it to the gym today, because working out at 2am is just retarded. But so is not working out, so I gotta go tomorrow morning. That's one real important lesson I've learned -> you can't let the past effect you when it comes to watching what you eat, or working out. If you skipped last week, you still gotta go this week, or if you ate a pizza last night, doesn't mean it's all over for you and you should just give up and eat pizza today too. I think that gets a lot of people down, because they really feel like the have to maintain perfect control at all times or else they're a failure, when really it just matters on a daily basis. Oh well.

So I've decided that in order to help my own fitness, I should aim for a couple of goals, since usually I just go in with the idea of "get in shape blah blah" "work out blah blah". I think some specific targets would be good, so here they are: increased cardio, increased strength (general goals here). The last goal is kinda different. I want monster grip strength. That is, I want to do hand-specific exercises so that I have a stronger grip/hand squeeze/forearm this is often what people think of when they talk about "functional strength" as it is key to manipulating large awkwardly shaped objects. Only the largest tvs or furniture weigh more than 140 lbs, an amount I can already move around pretty easily if I have an easy grip on it, yet a big desk or tv is still a difficult task, because of a lack of grip strength. Anyway, that'll be a good goal, and if I can really build it up, maybe I can crush people with monster grip in Jiu-Jitsu. Also, I have small girlish hands, so maybe making them meathooks will make me feel better.

Short entry:

http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showthread.php?t=82755

Here's a photoessay on north Korea. The comments are semi-translated from russian or something, so it doesn't make total sense, but it's just amazing to see what life is like there. Makes me wonder how brainwashed we are in America or other cultures, since movies and whatnot give us that "we'd know it if we were brainwashed" feeling, when a system of control like North Korea has obviously works to a degree.

So I went for a more thorough workout today, and it's pretty much disgusting how out of shape I am compared to where I was when I was actively involved in sports. Go figure. Oh well, just gotta keep working, even if this is the worst shape I've been in since like 6th grade. Maybe if I can get in some kind of good shape I can start selling self-help weightloss books. It's worked for a lot of people. Of course... "eat less exercise more" isn't about to sell a whole lot of books.

I watched "Domino" tonight, with Keira Knightly and Mickey Rourke. It's pretty brutal and confusing at times, but overall a good fun flick for people who like that kind of movie. Based off of true events too, which means some people live totally fucked up lives. As if we didn't know that.

I've been staying up too late ever since that car trip, waking up at 2 and not falling asleep before 6am. No good. But I honestly believe I'm naturally on a 25 hour sleep cycle - 16 hours awake, 9 asleep. Doesn't work with the earth's rotation and whatnot, but that's what I do in my experience if I'm left to my own devices totally. Apparently some famous mathematician was the same way, at least according to A Beautiful Mind (the book) which I'm reading. A lot of those math people have serious mental problems. After reading The Language Instinct I totally believe structure of the brain is such a huge part of who and what we are, maybe the kind of perfection/singleness of structure that allows one to do abstract maths at the highest level also makes you vulnerable to mental illness if anything gets out of whack. I'd believe it.

I've taken a lot of serious blows to the head, with at least one serious concussion (vomiting, passing out, not necessarily in that order). Luckily I'm not a math genius... but it makes me worry about the old noodle.

So today I found a tick on my leg. After a serious day of... sitting around in front of the tv or the computer. Wtf? That shit is not cool. As far as starting my workout program, I did a little bit. I find you gotta break in the muscles a bit after a long period of being a total sack-ass, or else you'll just get blasted and decide not to exercise ever again.

Still, that tick gets to me. Maybe it was that friendly-ass cat, just out to distribute ticks.

So the main topic of today's post will be my friend x. Most of the people that know me don't know much about him, and he's a pretty cool guy.

x and I met through an internet forum, which sounds super gay. We share a massive interest in combat sports and MMA, and we first started talking to arrange a trade of some recorded fights. As time went on, we found we had a lot more in common, but MMA is still central to our friendship.

Here's a picture of x (on the left) and his BJJ instructor, Rey. Rey means 'king' in portuguese, and this man is known for calling everyone 'Rey' all the time the way some people call others 'buddy' or 'dude'. So now his name is Rey. That's weird, but apparently not uncommon with Jiu-Jitsu people in Brazil to get weird nicknames like this. I'll tell you about Parumpinnha and Minotauro sometime.

I don't know if you can make it out in the picture, but x is wearing a purple belt in that picture. In Brazillian jiu-jitsu it takes an incredible amount of work and talent to work up the belt ladder, with most people spending a year with a white belt, and then never moving past a blue belt. So I'm pretty proud of this achievement.

x main interest in life is the pursuit of BJJ; he competes regularly, and trains obsessively, through injuries and pain. Here's a picture of his ear, obviously suffering from cauliflower ear, where smashing force against the ear slides the skin over the cartilage and separates the two, with the gap being filled in with fluid. If you don't drain the fluid regularly and press the skin into place with a bandage so that the ear maintains its normal shape, you end up with little ball ears that have none of their original shape but are hardened like bone.

Anyway, x , while he pursues a career as a radiology assistant is only concerned with the two things: BJJ and finding a wife. One of the barriers between us is that I have the standard fairly liberal American intellectual set of values, while x is a fairly strict muslim, has different views on a lot of things. I mostly deal with this by not talking to him about those areas.

In any case, this value set means he has to find a specific kind of morally correct girl, who meets his parents standards as well. And he has to date with the intent to marry. PLUS all the usual attractiveness and compatability concerns. I don't envy him that, although with his rugged good looks, he attracts some very attractive arab and desi girls.

In BJJ, x bread and butter is the Kimura, an armlock that can be applied from almost any position, although he's recently been choking people out with the brabo choke, a very powerful choke also known as the "baseball bat choke" because of the arm position. x will roll with anyone, anytime. At a recent wedding, he tapped out the groom!!!

Anyway, I just felt he deserved to be more of a person than "My Muslim friend" or "my friend who does jiu-jitsu" to the people I talk about him to.

So, part of this whole blog project is to help me become better at expressing myself in text form. Those of you who know I spend approximately 24 hours a day on AIM will be scoffing at this, but I still feel I have room for improvement, especially in the long form of paragraphs and pages rather than "lol" "yeah" "haha" "send me nude pics" "shit you're 13?" "BRB: FBI" and other common internet phrases.

In any case, the topic of tonight's writing will be physical fitness and Nick.

I seem to kind of have a weird obsession/laziness relationship with physical fitness. I think that I'd be a lot more attractive if I worked out more, I feel lazy when I don't work out, I idolize athletes and pay attention to bodybuilders.

Maybe it's from watching too many arnold schwarzanagger films as a child, or from the pleasure I got when I first started weight training myself in 10th grade, or just some continued fascination with hypermasculinity, but I want to at least look like the toughest guy in the world, featured in the picture. Sadly, I'm also really lazy and don't work out enough (as of yet) so it doesn't work out.

238 is pretty much the highest weight I've ever had, and I think it's a pretty stable weight for me when I don't do anything but hang around and eat. But anyway, I need to drop a good amount of weight. Mainly though, I just want to get into better shape. I keep wimping out of regularly going to jiu-jitsu practice because I feel like my level of fitness is embarassing. That's going to be one of my goals now in this new chapter of my life; getting to a level of fitness where I can actually be a competitive athlete.

I should probably format this into some concrete goals and plans. My goals are to drop a noticable amount of weight before Tex's wedding (an arbitrary and far off, yet not lost in the mists of time date) and raise my general level of fitness back to that of a moderately trained amateur athlete again (like it was in highschool when I was rowing crew). In the next month, I'm going to just establish a baseline of fitness with aerobic anaerobic, and flexibility training, starting tomorrow. Lets see how that goes. It's only going to get harder as I get older.

Sorry if all that is boring, I'll come up with something more interesting tomorrow.

Our Fantastic Voyage

I thought I would elaborate a little more on that car trip.

We took forever getting out of Chicago, just moving slow and packing slow and having to make multiple trips from the south side to the north side through the heart of downtown and the associated traffic. All in all it was a lot of exhausting BS that left us done at 8:30pm with 600 miles to drive to get home. Kinda blues-brothers esque I guess.

Anyway, we were both really exhausted by 10pm anyway, so we stopped and bought a random assortment of junk food and soda to fuel the trip. And when I say random, I mean it, we each bought a grab bag that was kept secret from the other, and then distributed said mystery items to the other upon request. It was interesting and kept us awake.

We drove in shifts of two hours, just trucking down the highway in the darkness at 80mph or more, with only semi trailers keeping us company. It was pretty surreal, with some scary moments when corners came out of nowhere in the dark. At one point I turned off the headlights, and out in rural kentucky with no other cars on the road, everything went utterly black. I turned them back on pretty quickly.

The hardest shift for me was the first, and it was a minute-by-minute fight to stay awake and alert. After that, I got about an hour and a half of fitful sleep while alex drove (he said I snored really loud), and then every other shift was pretty fun. Especially as the sky lightened or we could see light pollution around major cities over the horizon. The end of the trip was positively beautiful, with a misty morning in the Tennessee river valley, on a road that weaves next to and across the river and surrounding mountains.

At the end of it, I crashed into bed and slept until about 3 the next afternoon. Alex got up at 9 to work a half-shift lifeguarding and then go kayaking. Crazy brother I have.

Random thought of the moment: my mother is the kind of person who buys limited-edition cereals. I'm the kind of person who opens the box and eats them.

That says something about us, but I don't know what exactly.

Well.

Today could have been bad. All kinds of problems and just general slowness moving out. Ended up leaving chicago at 8:30pm, which was a horrible idea. It's about 5:45 AM in Chicago now, and Alex and I just rolled into town. Driving and sleeping in shifts, it didn't go so bad; there are almost no cars on the road so we could just cruise.

I'll write more later.

So, here we go. The first post of the new blog. I’m just going to go ‘who what when where why”

Who: I am Nick Bailey. Who I truly am is to be found out later I guess. That’s the point isn’t it? (although that belongs under “why”). I graduated (today) from the University of Chicago, which I regard as one of, if not the best university in the galaxy. That’s enough who. I don’t want to indulge my narcissism/self-analysis right now.

What: I am a Caucasian male, born 4/21/1984, 5’11.5” 238lbs, 1 sibling, born in Houston Texas, although I left there at 6 months and consider my childhood home to be Lookout Mountain, Georgia, metro area, Chattanooga, Tennessee. I’m intelligent enough to have an ego about it, but not enough to get away with showing said ego all the time.

When: Today is Saturday (I consider the day to end when I go to bed) at 3:51AM. I graduated from college earlier this morning, then I moved some of my stuff to my new apartment with my younger brother, and tried to show him around the city of Chicago. This is essentially a crossroads in my life. I’m done with school, moving into an apartment independently (with a roommate) and now it’s up to me. I have to figure out where I’m going with my life and what I’m doing.

Where: Right now I am in the computer lab in my dorm (I’ve packed up my computers for now.) 5700 S. Stony Island Ave. As of tomorrow I will be back in Chattanooga for a short while, then returning to sleeping in my new apartment, on the north side of Chicago in Humbolt park. I guess that’s where the real adventure begins.

Why: Why create this blog? Well a) as a way for people I know to keep tabs on me. This isn’t going to be a self-indulgent confession blog (although all blogs are self-indulgent.) so it is going to be edited for semi-public consumption, so reader beware. I know a lot of my friends aren’t going to bother to email or IM me regularly, but if they care they can at least check in here. Plus, I’m going to use this as a writing exercise/way to keep tabs on my own further education. I am not really satisfied with what I did in college, so I’m going to have to do some things on my own (more later). Plus, I feel I’m not competent enough yet to really be a decent writer of any kind of document, so I’m going to try to write here every day, just to get in the habit and gain experience. Feel free to critique anything, because I do and will.

That’s more than enough for now. More tomorrow, after I move the rest of my items to the new apartment and drive ALL THE WAY HOME to Chattanooga, which is going to be a bitch, given that I’ve had enough alcohol to feel unpleasant tomorrow.

-Nick out.